Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Women....

I know that people have read the book men are from Venus... and, He's just not that into you. I haven't. I don't read, I write. People think that's weird, but I don't have time read a book and try and write one. And I'm really lazy. Whatever. But something funny happened the other day when I was talking to a girl friend of mine. She had recently split from a long term boyfriend and asked me why men(either her ex or a new boy) were so deep. So many mind games? Why did guys do things that had so many undertones, ulterior motives, and complicated. What? "Is this how women think?" I replied. "Still" I think it's cute. I love the fact that so many women out there give us so much undeserved credit. It's refreshing. So I told her what I know. What I know about women in particular. The secret that too many women don't know, and what all guys think that you should already. If you are a female you might want to sit down( if you're not already) If your a guy you probably stopped reading once you realized that it wasn't about sports, porn or fighting.


Ready......


We're not that smart.


There, I said. It's true. We don't know shit. We can't think that far into the future to create a scenerio where we are trying to get a point across, unless it has to do with playoff spots. When you ask what we're thinking and we say nothing, we're not being deep, or difficult, or introspective. We're thinking nothing. We don't have relationship agendas except maybe thinking about who we would sleep with if we had the chance. Left alone to our own thoughts it sports, porn, XBOX 360, and porn. Not in that order. Porn's usually first and third. It's very flattering that you think that we're that deep. That you think that there is some other message behind, "I'll call you later". Sadly there isn't. Sadly our brain capacity does not comprehend thoughts on that level unless it involves pinch hitting in the eigth against a lefty on the road. Then we can dig into that vat of knowledge that is baseball probabilities. (Blue Jays lefties only hit about .256 with runners in scoring postion last year while pinch hitting) Other than that I know nothing about saying the right thing. Usually I answer with "I know" when T says I love you. I'm an idiot. I often argue that I love hockey and it would be unfair to hockey to put her in the same category. I think I'm pretty funny. Few around here agree.

So to all of you beautiful women that think we've got some plan, or thought, or motives, or anything other than the immediate future, or ridiculous probabilities. (If the Blue jays were in the AL Central how many years would we have made the playoffs?) I thank you. I thank you so much in giving me and men everywhere credit that we clearly do not deserve. I hope that one day we can rise up and give you the respect, love and.....

what's that?

Mark Buehrle pitched a perfect game.....

I'll be right back

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