Stacy King....we need you!

Last night I was watching Bones and switched methodically back and forth to watch 3 baseball games and two basketball games. It's kinda freaked me out that over the years I've watched less and less Basketball. And I couldn't figure it out until now.

Stacy King.

Back in the day there was a fire that brewed beneath ball players. They got mad, they filled the lane. The Pistons played team defence that usually resulted in someone on the floor. Xavier McDaniel would dig his shoulder into you if you tried a move on him. Thems were the days.

Now the rhetoric has changed. Now the players say things like this is MY house, not OUR house. They speak in the third person, and refer to the things they did.....not the team.....not everyone....just ME!!

It's become a total joke. Players strive to be rich, not successful. They leave teams to join other teams to be famous not to win. It's embarassing. Sure the scrums at the end of every whistle during the hockey play-offs are a little much, but at least they show competitiveness. Basketball has become the only professional sport in which you can give up so easy. You can lose with little care or remorse. Even Gilbert Arenas said that if the have losing season they could get a better draft pick. No other athelete would have the balls to say such a thing. But it's the NBA! They only care about themselves.

Of course there are exceptions to the rule and one is certainly Dwane Wade. Hurt and beat up, Flash gives it all even when he doesn't have it all. So last night after getting thumped, both on the scoreboard and literally, Atlanta's Josh Smith got free on a break away and tried to go between the legs for a dunk. A blatant showboat move in a game that was already won. A kick in the balls to a team on the ropes of ellimination. So how did The Miami Heat respond you ask? A flagrant foul? Maybe one of those NBA slap fests? How about the sucker punch, then start running backwards move?

NO! nothing. They just sat there. They had two minutes to let Atlanta know that when they get back to Miami they were going to get a fight. But they didn't. They just sat there. This series is over. No fireworks, no nothing. The worst part is, unlike hockey or even soccer, when you win a series in Basketball you applaud yourself, not the other team. You scream ADIDAS slogans in to the air. You call yourslef the underdog even though you're the number one team, and you give yourself a nickname. Is it any wonder I don't watch anymore? Why should I care about sport that loves itself so much, there's no room for anyone else.

So why Stacy King? In 1992 game 4, Bulls versus Cavs, Danny Ferry swung two punches at Michael Jordan and was ejected. In game 5 with less than two minutes left, Stacy King came into the game for the Bulls and laid a forearm to Ferry's forehead. The crowd cheered, King was ejected and Jordan smiled. I'm sure he paid the fine as well. It was his job! It was Charles Oakley's job before him. Tradition!

Don't just count your money on the sidelines....compete!

"I'll always remember this as the night that Michael Jordan and I combined for 70 points." Said after Michael Jordan scored a career high 69 points and Stacey King scored 1 point against the Cavaliers

How I saved the world

So we have a Crisis....or two.
A bird got sick, gave it a pig, and passed it on to us. I guess the spider didn't know how to say "back off, I gotta cough" in Spanish. Don't get me wrong I think it's terrible. I don't want to see kids dying from the flu.

Then we got this economic downturn. Or whatever CNN has labeled it this week. All I know is the best English Football team has has the logo of a failing company on it. Hey, it's just like the Toronto Maple Leafs! Except the teachers pension is doing fine. If the teachers pension owns part of the team, does that mean that my kids kindergarten teacher has better chance of getting tickets then me? If she could afford them, of course.

Miss America contestant hates gays...
Simon Cowell likes someone...
I did my taxes...

The world is fucked up place. More fucked up then normal. Now I've come up with a solution that will propel Canada to the forefront of the world by doing something we are already good at. Getting high!

Think about it.....okay exhale, then think about it. All of the things we need are right here in the grow operation across the street. These freedom fighters have recognized that in order for the dollar to gain, for gas prices to go down, and all of us to chill the fuck out...is POT.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I don't smoke pot(anymore) It's personal choice, nothing political. In fact still enjoy the smell at the McDonald's drive thru at 3:00am. I'm an ego-maniac and I didn't enjoy getting stupid. That's not a euphemism, I was literally stupid. I couldn't work the simplest things.....my disc man, my VCR, my commodore 64....holy shit I haven't been high in a long time.
And there was the fact that I was eating two cold Pop Tarts while I was waiting for the other two Pop Tarts to pop. it was a vicious cycle. Mustard sandwiches, frozen corn dogs, and gigantic box of slim jims. One time we ordered 35 cheeseburgers and had to take the top bun off the last ten to finish....but we did finish.
Those glory days of stupidity, gluttony and sense of self got me thinking.
What do we need right now?
Jobs, confidence, support for local business, and job creation!!
Weed is our answer.
We could legalize marijuana!!
Now your dealer doesn't have to be some jean jacket wearing asshole, it can be the nice people who used to work for AIG. We could increase sales at Canadian owned companies like Lays with bags and bags of chips, and Maynard's Fuzzy Peach and Wine Gums , and pockets full smarties. I could start a soft taco delivery service after 12. We would feel entitled in the international world. If we were sober enough to care. We could have free trade for Swiss Chocolate.

Our whole infrastructure would be overhauled. Think how advertisers could finally market right to you and your dumbass needs. Like anyone actually thinks that Kinder Surprise is for kids. They could finally explain why the most watched HD channel in Canada is Discovery. No condescending prick at revenue Canada would ask why you didn't file for five years, it would be obvious....you forgot. Wing sales would be through the roof, and we could make another three Matrix movies with that dude from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Tourism would skyrocket. You could have a full day of just driving between Calgary and Banff and freaking out at the mountains. Hundreds of thousands of people just staring at Niagara Falls, eating Beaver Tails and screaming in that haunted house.
I could get a job just talking, and ranting and people would tell me that this is the kind of shit that should be on TV.
And then it is...

Dentist's offices' would be overbooked.

Membership to gyms would triple....and people would go as long as there was a place to fire a bong.

Football players wouldn't get busted.

Wouldn't it be great! See you can tell that I don't smoke anymore, I wouldn't have made through this.....
Daily Show just started
...My kids still has Easter candy
... what was I saying

...Whatever.

Lets all be Canadian( book propsal)

Lets all be Canadian....



I often wonder about the world and worry about the people that stand front and center evoking the sense, belief, and principals of another great person for their own selfish purpose.



#1)Sean Hannity



I have never been a fan of organized religion, but I understand the faith. I believe in a higher being and I believe that my mother looks down upon me. Sometimes grimacing, but looking nonetheless. I admit that I never watch a entire Sean Hannity program, and truthfully I don't really care about his politics, or agenda when it comes to getting more viewers. (remember it is a TV show and first and foremost he needs ratings to continue.) I also don't really have a huge problem with FOX NEWS, because I don't watch it. It's there for a certain demographic and I'm not one of them. For the longest time I hated Bill O'Reilly, but I realized that he's just a douche bag trying to stay atop the cable news opinion ratings. He's a walking oxymoron and when you realize that, he ain't so bad. I also like that he will go on shows that he knows don't agree with him, and audience members don't like him. It shows some balls. Sean Hannity does something that no man without the last name Christ should do. He drags the Bible, and Christianity through the mud in order to perpetuate his own motives. And I thought there was something in there about "false idols"? This blasphemous ex-contractor continually makes comment like "America is the greatest country God ever gave man" As if God took a pencil and drew up the countries long before pilgrims landed. (where someone already lived!! another blog) I think the people that should be really angry are the people of America that deem themselves religious. Don't you realize that a man on a nationally televised program is interrupting your scripture to sell tickets. He claims to love his country and his God, but has ranked the two of them in the same sentence, America coming first. By doing so it not only makes him an extremist of Christianity, but a butcher of their constitution.



#2) Glenn Beck



This guy didn't seem too evil until he went over to FOX NEWS and got a debriefing on how to scare the shit out viewers so they watch your show every night. He started this 912 project.

"The 9-12 Project is designed to bring us all back to the place we were on September 12, 2001." Wow....moving. Way to hit this topic at the height of it's importance....8 years later. Now I wonder why this comical pundit all of a sudden feels like his country is slipping away? What has changed over the past eight years......oh right. The president! So just now he's noticed the country is going in a shit direction, well you know who's fault that it is....Barack. The guy that just got here. You don't go back to the restaurant and complain about the meal you had eight years ago because they're now under new management. Unless you're a douche bag? I guess because he's one of the few that haven't lost his job, in fact he got a new better one, he can rally the downtrodden around a subject that has lost meaning at FOX. They have raped and pillaged everything possible from 911. Even Giuliani couldn't rouse the people using it as his only platform running for office. The only thing Glenn Beck is interested in is Glenn Beck. Stephen Colbert said it best, "The 9-12 project is not for families directly affected by 9/11, just people building their careers on it."



#3) George Stroumboulopoulos



George is a national treasure and I'm not just saying this because he's Facebook friend. He really is. At the end of his career he will most likely be the greatest Canadian broadcaster of all time. I believe that. His show, The Hour, is the only program that you will ever see, where a humble host will ask the question that you'd love to see the guest answer. You feel like you're over at someones house and the Australian Prime Minister happens to be there. What makes it special, is the humility. George sits with every guest, not in awe or disdain, but with humility that eases them. He truly wants to know.....whether you want to answer or not, he'll ask. He also seems to take public opinion with a grain of salt, and will allow the guest to be as forthcoming as they want. It's non-political, it's non-partisan, it's Classically Canadian. We pride ourselves on hearing what the other has to say, then judging for ourselves. We are open to others and their opinions, even when we disagree. We believe in seeing the person first, and their beliefs, politics, race, and creeds second. We respect other countries and their laws, whether we advocate them or not. We laugh at ourselves, long before people make us the butt of a joke.



Sure I haven't met either Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity and I've gone off on one of my tangents about them, completely contradicting my statements about the merit of each person. My TV show isn't on air.....and theirs are. Their shows are billed as "opinion", which gives people the right to opine about the subjects they cover. Trust me, I'm not going to say NO if either invites me on. I hope that they are people behind those TV masks. And I hope to learn something about who they really are. If I did, I would hope I have some humility, comedy, and reasonable sense of fairness.



Basically....Canadian

going green

I'd like to think that I'm doing my part when it comes to making the world a better place. I'm probably not, but I'd like to think that I am. I don't follow the truck and make sure that they are actually recycling, but I trust that they are. I try to buy local products, organic foods, and when I remember to bring those environmentally safe bags. I usually forget, but whatever.

When I shop for groceries I go on this criteria:
#1- local(or national) there's an economic crisis. We gotta look after those around us. Also the local stuff is usually fresher, better quality and in season.
#2-Organic- I want that good-for-you, no pesticides crap too. It last longer....it's natural. Awesome.
#3- environmentally friendly- I have kids, so I don't want that lemony Mr.Clean paint stripper that we used in the eighties. I just got my sense of smell back.

My problem with some of these products is that it seems they don't want the same things. My organic lettuce comes in a plastic container that my fuck-stick garbage man says isn't recyclable. What?
Why is plastic container not being picked up? And why is an organic product packaged in a non-recyclable container?

Which brings me to my real problem.....
If you don't like being a garbage man, or recycling truck guy, or working the empties counter at the Beer Store, then quit!! I don't give a shit what you do, but don't take out your petty frustrations with your shitty job on my shitty life! I have enough to worry about without some fucker in a jump suit coming to my door to tell me that he won't pick up my blue bin because it got knocked over. Or the wind blew some of the paper out, so rather than pick it up(it's right beside the bin) he leaves it on my lawn. Then when I get home three hours later it melted into the grass because of a rain storm. And for some reason my two blue bins are scattered across the driveway. FUCK YOU!!
I don't like my job either. But I'm mad at myself, not the assholes that order a drink that I don't want to make! ( Not true I hate those fuckers too) But I still make it......sometimes. Regardless, I work in a bar where handing out insults is par for the course. Just pick up my garbage please. I don't need your "holier than thou" attitude.
There are so many of us that don't like what we do but he have to do it for whatever reason. I afraid that the global narcissism is at an all time high. Everyone wants you to know what THEY are thinking, or feeling, with little care on how it comes across. How does that guy not realize that when he rings my door, to tell me that he's not going to pick up my trash, that I have the every right to knock him the fuck out. But he thinks I care about his job, his feelings, his code of ethics when he does his job. Well I don't.
I have a sign on my door that says "please don't ring doorbell, baby sleeping" So when this hunk of shit, so wrapped up in his sense of self, pushes that little button, so that he can update me on his feelings towards his job....and my kid wakes up, why should I care? In that two seconds it takes to read that sign, he could've realized that there was another person on the other side of that door.
That just makes me angry.....and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry