So early this morning, the better half suggested that I join her in a hot Yoga class. Now normally I'd find some excuse about being too fat, or something, but I owed her one since I passed out on friends floor over night the day before. (it was your standard after Christmas party-drunk mistakes, chickenheads throwing glassware at the boss, etc) So I went. And I sucked!! It was hot...I smelled, and I'm almost positive that the rented mat will now reek of stale vodka. But I did it. I made it through an entire 90 minute class without crying or falling over. (Unlike the party)
What I liked about the class was the deep breathing, and focusing. Something I don't do enough of. I could take the time to find the spot on the ceiling and think. It reminded me of theatre school many moons ago, except I wasn't high. I always scatter my brain about different projects that I want to do, but I have no time to start, finish, or polish any of them. All this other shit gets in the way. Wife, kids, and job. Those 7 minutes between wiping my kids ass, and eating their left over Mac 'n' cheese over the sink, I take a deep breathe and play NHL11 on XBOX. This allows me to relax by swearing at the TV, and scathing the fake referees in a computer game. It doesn't work as well as you think. There's booze, which I enjoy, but shouldn't probably do all the time(anymore). I'm not sure that I'll continue at the rampant pace others partake in Yoga, but I'll go again. Especially cause the guy that stripped down in front of me in the change room showed me his cock. All that for 20$ what a morning!
It did force me to think about the advice I give to others. We're quick to give others our opinions, but at times do not follow our own suggestions. Last night I realized I dished a lot of "you know what I think" probably cause I was hungover. I told more than one person that the have to take time to themselves in order to find themselves. One of the hardest things that we do as adults is learn to like ourselves. And to realize that we don't need another to define who we are. The book The Celestine Prophecy said that you need to be a complete person in order to be in a healthy relationship(I'm paraphrasing) People that get together with people to fill the voids within themselves are destined for failure. If you're a half circle and find another half circle then together you create a full circle. If you are a full circle then you can find another full circle to be with. It's coming to grips with being yourself. The example I used was going to a movie alone, which I love to do. A friend had mentioned that she had never done that, and never would. What's funny is, that would suggest that the strangers in the movie house somehow impact your experience. Them judging you sitting alone, thinking that someone stood you up, whatever. But it's a fucking movie, you're not supposed to talk, so who gives a shit if you're alone. Those moments alone teach you about the things you truly like. In closer communities you have no choice who you grow up with, so you're friends with people out of circumstance and proximity, but when you're on your own, you decide to do whatever you want because you want to!
So judge me all you want, I'm going to yoga again. And those hotties can see I'm fat, and I'm sweating all over the floor. Cause I'm probably staring at their ass!
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