In 1999 I worked as a bartender at a bar downtown Toronto. It was Canada Day and the city was electric. The Blue Jays were at home, the dome was open and all the players had "Canada" on the back of their jerseys. It was my first Canada Day in Toronto, and I really enjoyed it. And I stole a Canadian flag off the wall from the bar that I worked at, and wore it as a skirt for the night. I used to drink a lot...

Anyway that flag has been with me ever since. It's dirty, and got mustard stains on it (as I do on most of my shirts, and jerseys) and I love it!

As the Olympics got under way last week, I dug it out of the basement to have it close to me. This flag has a very important past, and was key in Canada's hockey gold medals in 2002.

A lot of Canadians are freaking out about Canada having to play Germany tonight(Feb 23, 2010) I think we have all forgotten how difficult it was to win eight years ago. Not only were we terrible in the round robin, losing to Sweden ,and tying the Czechs, but we eked out a squeaker against Finland to move to the semi-finals. Everyone is forgetting that Russia, the number one ranked team, is also having to play for their chance at Gold. And it looks like it'll be the winner from tonight's game. Let's say Canada.


On February 24th, 2002 I went to a bar downtown Toronto. Me and a bunch of friends knew people at the bar and were able to get a table close to the big screen. On the stand up bar in front of the big screen TV, I placed my flag facing the crowd. As the room watched intensely, the flag watched over us. In the first period I went past the flag on the way to the restroom. On the way back to my seat, I paused rubbed my hand over the red maple leaf, and gave it a very gentle kiss. This was all for the crowd, trying to draw a laugh. It worked, and when my boy Scottie Evil went to the washroom in the second period he continued the joke. By the intermission the entire table I was sitting with was passing by the homemade flag alter, touching, kissing or just saying a prayer. I thought it was a funny tie to the whole room, but it was rooted in a true patriotic belief.

By the third period with the country at the edge of their seats, every person in that room began their own ritual. The flag was mobbed whenever it was passed. People whispered pledges, favours, even skyward begging to the hockey gods. When the final buzzer went the room exploded with cheers. We hugged, and smashed glasses together. We danced and pointed to each other with "I told you so" looks. Nobody on the street was American, there were no other flags, or jerseys. Just adulation, and pure happiness. At one point I saw a guy standing on top of a street car with a Canada jersey on, screaming, and the driver had his fists pumped in the air. In the bedlam, I some how remembered to grab the flag as people said that it helped the win.

Now I haven't been contacted by the Hockey Hall Of Fame yet, but I know that this dirty, wrinkly flag holds within it the hearts of many patriotic Canadians.

And I assume their DNA.

So to all of my brothers and sisters out their that haven't lost their faith, or those wavering on thoughts of disappointment, or those that just believe that we need an ounce of luck on our side...

Lean forward....and kiss the flag.

Go Canada Go!!

and exhale through the nose...

Okay, Team Canada beat Switzerland....barely.

However this is no reason to freak out. Every team that gets to play Canada in hockey, at home, in the Olympics, it's their "gold medal" game. Every player on Switzerland circled this day on their calendar, and whether you play for Anaheim like Hiller, or are one of the other 20 dudes I've never heard of, this was the game of the year.

Remember when Canada beat the US in baseball at the World Baseball Classic? It was a round robin game and we jumped around like it was the final game in the world series. The best part was we beat them at what they're known for(or want to be known for). Everybody gets geeked up to play Canada, and I can't blame them. I mean Jonas Hiller played the greatest game of his life.

It's harder living in Ontario during this because most people have been groomed to assume failure when it comes to hockey teams. I'm looking at you Toronto Maple Leafs!! But the fact is we won last night and anyone that thinks(or hopes) this was going to be easy, question yourself....but not the boys in Red and White!!

As for the women, they've been getting some slack for being too good. Running up the score, and what not. But I ask you, why should they hold back during the only tournament that anyone ever watches? Should they dumb-down all their hard work so that another country that's whipping our asses in Biathlon, feels better about themselves? The only way that Canada should take their foot off the gas is if the other teams stop trying to comeback.

Tomorrow I will tell you all the tale of my Canadian Flag that helped seal the Gold in 2002, and will push the boys through for another in 2010!!!

Canada's Gold...graciously

As many Canadians I've been watching the Olympics on one of the twenty channels it been on. I really hope that girl, and Alan Frew are getting a nickel every time that theme song is on. And of course like many I'm concerned about the weather. However we are only 4 days in and I'm already angry about stuff.



the opening ceremonies were awesome! So much of that display made me proud to be Canadian. It was nice to see BC Place as a focal point, after all I'm old enough to remember when it opened in 1986. The Expo '86 was a highlight of my childhood. A girl i work with was born in 1986 and i just threw up in my mouth a bit.



As Canadians we generally cheer for people to be fair, to try hard, and to give it their best. We hope that our Olympic heroes will win gold(or silver, or bronze) but we applaud everyone, we cheer sportsmanship, and we're happy to be there. So when Alexandre Bilodeau won gold I had a tear in my eye. When the final skier finished his run it was obvious to me(a guy that can't ski) that he's made an error, and that error may cost him a chance on the podium. It did, and the hometown crowd erupted.



Except for one hometown boy....Dale Begg-Smith.



For those of you that don't know who that is, he's the sulking cry baby from Australia that won Silver. He's also the defending gold medalist from 2006. He was also born and raised in B.C. He left Canada for Australia looking for time to work his business, and less training. I guess he didn't need that much considering that he won a gold in Italy in 2006. He became a multimillionaire with his annoying "pop-up" software. ( another reason to not be a fan of his) As the final scores came up he looked like he pissed. He didn't bring a flag up on the podium, he barely changed his expression. His coach said afterwards, "My own opinion is that probably Alex is not capable of 4.8 or a 4.9... because 5 is a perfect score" Hey douche bag you know who had a higher score when he won gold...Dale Begg-Smith. What kind of an asshole spouts off his mouth after the dude he coaches wins a silver medal. One of their 3 Winter gold medals is from a guy that is Canadian and you have the balls to complain? Is it because of how rich your aerial ski program is? Fuck you. I remember being very gracious when you wallaby eating, Fosters drinkers won a medal for Cricket in Sydney in 2000. Oh yeah, that's not a real sport. Was it Aussie rules football? I assume that this was only his coach(and roommate) that felt this way because if not then he not only gave up his citizenship, he gave up his heritage.



Protesters- man you really look like weaklings try to beat up superior athletes sponsors from behind masks.



French Canadians...



Apparently the perceived lack of french at the Olympics has upset some French-Canadians. They had a two page article about it La Presse, a french only newspaper distributed out of Montreal. Am I the only one seeing the irony that a french only paper is upset that part of the country isn't looking bilingual enough? Yeah...Quebec! That's what it's like for the rest of us Canadians to go to any other part of Quebec than Hull, or Montreal. They said that only 15% of the 25,000 volunteers spoke french. That's almost 4000 people. Did it mention how many of the other 21,000 people spoke other languages? Or do you only care what Mama et Papa Villenuve to be able to know where to eat. It's fuckin Vancouver asshole! You know that place with huge Asian and Indian populations. Even in Rejean Tremblay's article, he points out that 4 million Quebecois cannot read his own article. And having 4000 french speaking volunteers to represent one province isn't enough. You draw a distinct line in between Quebec and Canadian athletes , but are then offended when it happens with your language over 4000 kms away? Did Montreal take extra step to show the history of the west coast? (seriously I was 3) Will you be any less proud of Canadians from other provinces that win medals? Judging by the crowd at BC Place, screaming and singing the national anthem for Alex Bilodeau, are only proud he won. Some Quebec TV shows have the boules to ask whether bilingualism in Canada is just a facade?It is as important to the those on the west coast, as the west coast is to those in Quebec.



With Glowing Hearts

opening...

You know I've been watching a lot of TV over the past few weeks, and I gotta say that I'm very excited about the start of the Olympics. I get that the people that still live in the west coast aren't as jazzed. The influx of that many people, and security measures are a pain in the ass, but I see the coverage as a sense of pride. After all I don't live in Vancouver anymore and I miss it dearly. The umbrella's, the misty rain, the protesters....ahhhhh home.

Years ago I, after I left Vancouver, I got into an argument with some asshole here in Toronto. So many of the people out here that have never been west, and do not think to highly of the B.C. They would generalize the people, the weather, and the lifestyle. A discussion had begun about the Olympics and the Torontonian( who was actually from some other frozen tundra of Ontario) said that Vancouver should pull out of running for the Winter Olympics, so that Toronto could get the Summer ones. I flipped out on this jack-ass. Why would one province stop trying to land a big event for another? How could the summer Olympics in smog\humidity town be better than the winter Olympics at one of the best mountains in the world. Well, Maple-Leafs-for-life prick schooled me on the people and environment of Vancouver...

First of all, the highway between Vancouver and Whistler is one the worst in the world. People die there, like everyday. Plus they don't know how to drive in the snow. And when it does snow they pour hot water on their driveways. Whistler is ripe with drugs and downtown is full of addicts and homeless people.

It was around this part in the rant that I asked "I would rather it be -25, than raining" guy if he'd ever been out there. He said no. In fact, out of the 8 people in the conversation only one had been to Van and he said it rained too much. He was there in February...idiot! I've been to Whistler many times and I don't remember seeing dead bodies all over the place. And a guy from Toronto upset about homeless people? Finally, we don't know how to drive in the snow, because it doesn't snow. What's funnier is that when rains here....everyone stays inside!

Since then I've been vehemently defending my home. I can't help that think anyone that wants to where layers, upon layers of clothes rather than carry an umbrella is stupid. Going on a snow mobile rather than a mountain bike seems ridiculous. I love Vancouver, and I love B.C. It'll be hard to be there right now, because it's been infiltrated, but as friend of mine said, "If you don't like the Olympics, just pretend to until it's over." I will speak for Ontario, and I'll tell you people are excited. They're Proud. And for the next few weeks they'll get to see the beauty that I've been raving about for ten years.

Go Canada

p.s.- isn't it funny that the protesters look like they've never played a sport in their life...go back to your Mom's basement and finish playing World of Warcraft, or I'll cancel LOST!!

people, people

well, well....it's been a while. 2010 is here and, that's about it.

As some of you know I take months off at time to gather my rants and thoughts so that I can bombard you with only the good stuff. I'm angry enough today to start writing. It's hard for my because so much of the world puzzles me, and I only ever think to "blog" about it once I get so pissed off that my loving family doesn't want to hear about.

To start, my son has discovered that climbing on top of things and destroying them is a shit load of fun. So know that every "L" I type today is taking a lot of effort, since he ripped that key off to taste it. My wife has been sick for days and I realize that being a single parent\caretaker is difficult, and that drinking a bottle of wine to yourself in the dark is completely acceptable.

The Super Bowl was good, but I'm not sure how many times I'm expected to hear that Olympic theme song in one sitting. The nausea was starting to build up so much I started to watch The Blair Witch Project just to calm down. I feel as though the constant programming of where and when the Olympics are happening was a little over the top. But I certainly won't forget.

Rogers cable created some sort of ADHD channels that allow you the chance to watch 6 different events at the same time...That's awesome! I mean you never actually wanna watch Skeleton, or the biathlon, but you wanna see who wins. As Canadians, we don't try and over project our patriotism, but I think we should. Everyone else who hosts the games has a chance to prideful, and so should we. Sometimes we feel embarrassed about not being fair to all the competitors, after all, they're all trying. It's okay pull for our side. We look to our neighbours(by the way neighbors, that's how "neighbours" is spelled) and gauge our response accordingly. But this is Canada...it's the Winter Olympics...we should be good! The rest of the world makes fun of our love of hockey, so lets bash their heads in...figuratively.

The TTC...

The Toronto Transit Commission has been taking it's licks these past few weeks and I am here to DEFEND them....what?!?. Yes defend them. Listen I think that they suck when they hike up the fares a quarter, or the fact that the last train is an hour BEFORE last call, but this is unfair. Mostly because how can we, the public, give people these people shit? If every asshole that took a picture, or a video is a model employee at their shitty job, fine. But they're not. The people in this world that get paid a lot of money to do what they love don't take the TTC, nor do they work there. I will never give anyone shit for hating their job. Or phoning it in. Or not caring, or falling asleep, or going pee, or getting a fucking coffee at 3a.m. All these people calling in Breakfast television, or CP24 to complain....shouldn't you be at work? Anyone who takes part of their day to phone in a survey about someone else's professionalism, is a hypocrite. Are you telling me that you've never dozed off? Or took a longer lunch? Or called in sick? Read the paper? Texted your 20 yr old wanna be actress girlfriend who wants to drown your career to improve her own? What if every time you did something embarrassing at work, some asshole that wants a job on TMZ took your picture. Adjusting your balls, farting at you desk and blaming Tebor, surfing questionable tranny porn, checking you facebook for exes, googling your own name. Fuck you! If you were better at your job this entire situation wouldn't concern you. So the next time you see a guy who doesn't give a shit, acknowledge his honesty, and acknowledge that you don't either. You're no better than this guy, you're just pissed cause he gets paid more.

And also...

Adam Giambrone, who is subsequently the TTC Chair, is running for mayor. And he's acknowledge that he's had AN AFFAIR!!! (dun-dun-duh) Wait a minute...not to get all technical, but don't you have to be married to have an affair. He cheated on his girlfriend. No big deal( unless you're the girlfriend, then I really feel for you) What's pissed me off about this, is that every news agency in Toronto has listed her as a "young woman". She's fucking 20!! That's not a young woman, that's a "younger" woman. Printing, or airing anything else is irresponsible. The media is making it seem like she's underage, and unaware of how she's been taken advantage of. The Toronto Star is making it seem like this is the same caliber of charges as Eliot Spitzer in New York, or the Governor of South Carolina. A very lame Canadian equivalent! I think that I would vote for Adam now more than ever. He's a 32 year old city councillor, who also chairs the TTC, has a fiancee, and guma that's 10 years younger than him. He's literally in touch with people at the university level. Listen, this guy's an idiot for doing this, and a bigger one for getting caught, but the media has dug up a huge pile of nothing. Of all the bullshit that takes place in this city, all the stories of corruption, greed, and infidelity, you've targeted a young man in the prime of his career, whos only mistake is lying to his girlfriend. Not to steal the same sentiment as above, but if everyone that lied to their spouse ended up on facebook, or newspaper...you get the idea. Kristen Lucas (the other woman) has been taken advantage of, but her professionally taken photos in the paper and national exposure as the victim should ease the pain, considering that she wants to be an...actress! Am I reading this right? C'mon!?!

And Linda Diebel of the Toronto Star, you're better than this. I've read your stuff.

P.S.- who hasn't had sex in an office at City Hall