celebrate life

    I started this morning off by coffee with the bio-parents. It was a little rough because all I really wanted to do was sleep. I've come to realize that these two little monsters will never let that happen. Talking with Bio-Mom reminds me that this life started out with her having to make brave choices at a young age. It was 1973 and to have a child out of wedlock, or any alternatives including being a single mother was exceptionally difficult. Fortunately (for me) she decided to have me, then allow another family to take me in. It's tough not to thank my lucky stars for the chance I've been given. It wasn't the easiest start for me, but it's been hard for  many others. I think that I'm aware of it, is the thing that motivates me. Constantly reminding myself that I can do more. I'm trying to harness my exuberance for telling stories into a career, to raise my kids in a loving and open household. Not drink so much!

The lesson today was, "you are here for a reason." I'm not smart enough to know why, but I know that. I spent a long time being suspicious of the phrase everything happens for reason, because it didn't seem realistic. Even if I don't necessarily believe it, I can certainly accept that it may be possible. It took a shitload of circumstances to land me on this planet, and a shitload more to get me to today. If anything, I should show those occurrences some respect. Even though I have been accused of egotism, narcissism, and a few other isms, I'm harder on myself than anyone. I believe that I owe the people that have aided my maturity(or lack of).

I know...Deep

The reason I'm delving into this is because of the rest of my day was at a Celebration of Life ceremony for my friend Tyler Wright. Last year Tyler went hiking in Squamish and did not return. For weeks the Search and Rescue did their diligence through the forest looking for signs, but eventually called it off. It's no fun having to see familiar faces, and old friends under such duress. Having to share pain and smiles in the same sentence. I did what I usually do. Make jokes, try and make people laugh. It's not because I don't know how to deal with death, its because I'm more articulate with this keyboard, and a cold beer. I wish I didn't have a history of seeing death around me. but I do.

I know how much easier it is for us to categorize people after they're gone, but I can sincerely say that Tyler was special. Tyler had an infectious personality, and truly moved everyone that he touched. All you had to do was hear one story from today and watch everyone in the room nod simultaneously. We all knew the language, the energy, and the exuberance of Tyler. As a kid I was jealous of his ability to be involved in any situationn with such ease. There was a genuine quality that you hoped would rub off on you. In 1990 I was in a car accident with six other people, one of which was Tyler's sister. When the doors of the ambulance opened Tyler's was the first face I saw. There was comfort in that. His eyes were wide and red as he watched us all being carted in the ER. He Nodded to me with a reassurance that I'll never forget. The last time I saw Ty was about seven years ago at Wayne Gretzky's restaurant. I turned around after hearing someone say "Hrushowy?" Nobody in Toronto ever called me that, so I immediatly reacted.  His big looming smile,a blue afro and those gigantic feet. I wish I'd seen him more over the past years. I wish I had five more minutes to say five more things.

I love the phrase Celebration of Life. It is concise and perfect.

Make sure you do more of it. Yours and the lives of the people around you.

power to the people

                 I usually save my utter disappointment with public officials for those south of the border. I find myself shaking my head at some evangelic nimrod who tells his constituents that abortion is murder, but murdering the doctors that performs them is just. Frankly it's the kind of thing that really bothers me. People protesting funerals, hiding behind the phrase "family values" and then condemning everyone that doesn't agree. How is it possible to say "God loves everyone, except for..." The same country who's past is littered with discrimination elects an African-American as president, then vetoes gay marriage on the same ballot. This is the kind of ironic sarcasm I save for my friends down south.

and then I read about this guy: Marc Dalton

A BC Liberal MLA who once compared homosexuality to gambling, pornography and abortion used time in the legislature Oct 18 to promote a church whose leader believes homosexuality can be cured.

Maple Ridge-Mission MLA Marc Dalton praised the UK-based Alpha organization as “a free forum where people can meet to discuss God, the afterlife and the teachings of Christ.”

First of all, this jack-ass uses a quote from Winston Churchill on his web-page. Wonderfully ironic considering the amount of people that believed that Churchill himself was a closet homosexual. Maybe that's how he heard about Alpha? Perhaps Mr. Dalton is letting on more about himself then I thought. It's one thing to start spouting off about curing homosexuality, it's another comparing them to gambling, pornography and abortion. Two of which I've participated  in today. He's public official, who's voice speaks for the people, and he's also school teacher. Is this his opinion or that of his constituents? They're supposed to be the same when he speaks in public. Are the parents of his students aware that he may be trying to cleanse them of their human nature? That's an awkward parent-teacher interview.

What's worse for me, is that I keep trying to defend Maple Ridge to my wife, and then people like this speak up. She's already wondering why I'm so fucked up.  Just by stating his "beliefs" he is creating tension within his school. Kids, teachers and parents alike are going to know that if they support what our government, and society deem as acceptable he of, he isn't. How is Mr.Dalton going to defend a child bullied for his\ or her sexuality? No one will be able to trust his judgment, or lack there of.

Kids have it hard enough, and living in Maple Ridge no less. For me Mr.Dalton has to answer for his actions. The thing is he knows this. He worked in high schools. He feeds homeless and promotes unity. To bad he's got a case of the crazies.

And we have the cure.

Fortunately we can hold him accountable. After all he's a public official.

can I give you some advice?

The other day I was looking for a Burger King for a Whopper. I didn't quite know where it was and ended up in a strip mall. I stopped at a crosswalk and waited for an older lady to cross. The parking lot was empty, and it was Sunday morning. I looked around for the BK sign, but had clearly taken a wrong turn.

Then something weird happened.

The lady that crossed stopped after she got to the other side and was saying something. I rolled down my window and heard, "I looked over to thank you, but you weren't even looking in my direction. You didn't even see me."

Are you fucking kidding me? I replied to her, "Of course I saw you. That's why I stopped." She shrugged and waved me off. "Look lady, If you're not laying in the parking lot gasping for air then I fuckin saw you. I didn't know that I was obligated to acknowledge your thank you."

I don't have a lot of complaints about my new\old home, but there's one thing kinda gettin me. It's the influx of people offering to tell me about everything. This lady upset that I didn't see her "thank you"? What kind of insecurities are you dealing with, when you need to be validated after thanking someone.

While telling this story to another Vancouverite, they commented that I shouldn't feed my children fast food. Now I dont' want to get off on rant here, but I think I'm done with people without kids wanting to give me advice about parenting. It's nice that you think that you know better with no frame of reference, and I'm sure I was the same...actually no I wasn't. I didn't know a thing about kids and had no intention of learning.

 People constantly tell me what we should do, buy, and teach our children. So the next time I'm at the mall and you see me(or any other parent) and I look like shit. I'm half asleep, and have been amassing nickels from the car to buy some shit from a candy machine that my three year old has been yelling about for two hours. By the way, that three year old is soaking wet because the diaper shift when he was kicking me in the nuts while I tried to buckle his seatbelt. The seat of my car is forever damaged because this happens all the time. That pee has mixed with the numerous kinds of cereal that he likes to throw at me when I'm driving. So, I pretty much feel like I pay $400 a month so that my kids can destroy it. I've been up for seven hours and it's 11:00am, because the older one had a climbed into bed with me, but slept upside down and filled my mouth with her feet.

I don't know if it's the title of "One of the Best cities in the world" that give some people in the 604 the right to constantly give their opinion. It's as if the some sort of commentary is in titled to all that reside.
 "The lights are to bright on BC Place."

 "We want bike lanes, but not those bike lanes."

It's answering the question that has not been asked. So let me join in...

It's okay to be a little rough around the edges for a city. I don't want to wait in line to get into a bar, then wait in line at the bar. My service shouldn't be based on my turn, it should be based on how much I tip.
 Also, just because it's sunday doesn't mean that the entire world has the day off, so speed up when your walking.
Finally, any "Advice" about what coffee I drink, car I drive, or food I eat, that is not accompanied with the funds to heed your suggestion, will not taken!!


PS- I agree that the referees hate the Canucks!