the oscar goes to......

Yeah, yeah, I know. I've taken like a week off from ranting and raving about the world. I'm back. I'd blame the Oscars, but unfourtunatly I didn't get to watch them. Not true. I watched them from behind the bar that I work at. Jon Stewart's jokes just arent' the same when you're reading the close captioning and the moment is long past. The people eating thought I was crazy, snickering as they're going to commercial. So many don't care about the show. One guy ask when the Academy Awards were. I said they're the same thing, he replied I don't care, I watch hockey. You can watch both. I mean it's not like they're conflicting in some way. I suppose that the rednecks of the suburbs are afraid that if you like movies, ergo the you like the Oscars, you must be gay. Okay! But when I explain that watching a UFC match is homo-erotic everyone at the bar thinks I'm crazy. Meanwhile all I hear is dudes telling other dudes that the dude on TV has a great body. Whatever?

Now, I love the Oscars. After all, I want to win one. I guess it's difficult for people whose jobs don't have a showcase with awards. There's no plumbers ball. There's no carpenters grammy's. Art is usually an internal struggle and artist usually needs acknowledgement from other artist. And don't think that it's easy. Forget about the fact that "breaking in" to the film world can be very difficult. Or that there are tons of politics behind the nominations. In the end all you want is that little statue. Plus it's art and how do you rate art? Especially against each other. Is it fair to say that Al Pacino was better in Scent of a Woman than Robert Downey Jr in Chaplin? I don't know. I know that Pacino was awesome in Scarface, and Dog Day Afternoon. He probably should have won for those. Or Paul Newman's eight nominations without a win, and then he doesn't show up and BOOM, he wins. For years it seemed that the Oscars were making up for the mistakes of the past. Was it a coincidence that Halle Berry, Denzel Washington and Sidney Poitier all one in 2001, or was the academy making up for the neglecting black actors for the previous 70 years. (cliche time) It's just an honor to be nominated. I wasn't.

And then there's.....

Less than a week ago I found myself doing something embarassing. I was alone. It was in the morning. And the TV was on. It was the congressional hearing, featuring Roger Clemens. Brutal. I guess they hadn't noticed that their country has few other problems, and their time could be spent better doing.......something. They got war, economic crisis, and gay penguins! Recently, some congressman want to look into the NFL, and some shit that took place years ago. Money well spent that commitee. I think I get it, Lee Harvey Oswald worked alone, but the The NE Patriots are part of a conspiracy. So I decided that I would ask them to look into a couple of oddities in the world that I've noticed. This is the letter I've decided to send to Henry Waxman.

Dear Congress,

I assume that you are taking ideas and letters from anyone so I've decided to ask for a hearing of my own. It ranges from many subjects, many people, and many outcomes that have affected young children and immature adults alike. First of all I am Canadian. I live in Toronto, Ontario and currently drinking alone in my home. As a Canadian, I feel a part of the American struggle as much as you. Without the guilt of Iraqis dying. Normally I wouldn't find myself watching a congressional hearing( because I wouldn't know how), but when my beloved Blue Jays were mentioned along with suspected cheater Clemens I had to watch. And it was on the TV at my work. On behalf of all Canadians I wish that you would refer to the Blue Jays as back-to-back world series winners when you mention them. After all they were. Many visitors to our fine city from the US don't know that. Canada is quite often a punch line, or the place to blame so you can imagine that we're not to happy that Roger is being investigated while donning a Jays uniform. As if Ben Johnson( 1988 100meter* runner stripped of his Olympic gold for steroids) wasn't enough. Then Bertuzzi hit that Harvard kid. It would be nice if we were looked apon with a good light. Maybe mention two-time MVP Steve Nash every once in a while.

There is a way that you could right the wrong of Roger Clemens for everyone in Toronto though, and it involves hockey. In 1993 Wayne Gretzky high sticked (which is illegal in hockey) Doug Gilmour of the Toronto Maple leafs and NO PENALTY WAS CALLED! This seems right up your guys alley. After all Wayne was playing with the Los Angeles Kings and your from California. Whether you're a fan or not, the truth must come out. Now obviously we can't go back in time and change the outcome of the game(pay attention Congressman Spector!), but what we would like are some changes in our favour. For instance, you could have all MLSE( Maple Leafs Sport and Entertainment) executives fired. They care more about money than winning. Since you guys are so worried about the integrity of sports, and making sure that people are winning legitimatly, so much so as to waste millions on hearings, this would be perfect. These fat cats don't care at all about letting this storied franchise swirl down the toilet. I do. Yet all I can do is boo them and call them pathetic. But you can help! There is also a great draft pick that you could give us for our pain.

And then there's this gay penguins thing. Now I'm not going to be one of these foreigners telling you that your education system is inferior to ours. Or that spending money on Baseball players(that are millionaire) getting called in front of your committee (also very rich people) is futile. But a controversy over a childrens book about two male parents raising and baby penguin is too much. Gay penguins, only in New York! There are so many things to worry about, I wonder if this should be one them . Perhaps if you bring the people that want this book banned in front of your commitee and grill them about their homophobic, twisted version of this award winning book that they saw. I saw a loving story about parenthood. These people saw March of the Brokeback Happy Feet. Are these people even allowed to black list books? Maybe that Paperclips school should give them a lesson on intolerance? By the way Paperclips, great movie!!

And then there's this whole Britney Spears thing. I mean come on. If you guys are worried about the impact that drugs in sports are having on the children what about this train wreck? I'm sure that you guys can bring the entire paparazzi in front of your committee. That dude, her ex-manager, her mom, her dad, her missing panties and lets not forget her underage, pregnant sister. Not that K-Fed guy though, he suddenly seems normal. These magazine racks a flooded with rumours. and making a fortune. Is she crazy, on drugs, or just the poor white trash that everyone thought she was?(it's the latter) You can get to the bottom of this, right? Hearings, interviews on Larry King. Heck, she's one of your constituents, isn't she? Her approval rating is higher than the presidents. (and congress) She rich, and somebody there would probably like her autograph. Finally we can get to the truth about her acting out. Oh my god, what if shes was on HGH? She had that violent outrage against a car, she shaved her head(so did Clemens), and there are repeated pictures of her looking "drugged up". If you think about it there are a lot people that you could bring up before your group and question, at length about their personal lives. And it is within you rights. Sure it's your tax payers money, sure an unpopular war is bankrupting your country, sure nothing will come from these hearings legally, but you did get on mainstream TV. I learned your name and watched for three hours. I even missed Rachael Ray for it. And I thank you.

(* 1 meter = 39.37 inches)

sincerely

Clayton Magnet

P.S.- What is Congress suppose to do?

Who investigates congress for wasting peoples time?

WTF

I'm confused.
I've spent the past few days reading about some horrors of the world and again I am questioning what we are doing. I know that I get all worked up about things and sometime they don't make for funny stories. Thay can't all be funny!
If you know me you'll know that I'm a pacifist. I don't believe in violence to resolve a problem. What's the point. I'm also anti-war. Any war, not just Iraq. Armed conflict frightens me. It's not just the people involved, it's the crumbling social fabric. It's the preteens with AK-47s. I feel that there is too much selfishness that is involved. When I was young I had a couple friends that were known to get into fights at bars. generally they had no purpose. Generally they had no begining, and when it was over nothing was resolved. I see the same comparisons with international conflicts. Iraq was the guy across the bar that was looking this was funny. The U.S. had heard that he did some bad shit before. U.S. don't like the way he's treating his girlfriend(the oil fields) and have decided half drunk to handle it in his own way. Be the hero. Months before some other dudes had violated his girl(twin towers) and this guy kinda looks like him. Vengance! Before you know it they're wrassling. Uncanny. While researching how big of a loser Bill O'Reilly is I found that clip of him on Dave Letterman talking about Iraq. He admits that they made a mistake with the WMD's but now had to stay and fix the mistake. Of course never really saying that it was a mistake. If I ran a red light, because I thought it was green, I don't beat the shit out of the people in the other car that I hit while apologizing! Enough with that.
I've said before that there is a fundemental difference between Canadians and Americans. At the root we are different people. Which is strange because of our proximity. Despite the amount of times we are the punchline in one of their jokes, we truly care about our neighbors. We watch the news of their struggles and weep. We thank God it's not us, but we weep. On Thursday the U.S.,specifically Northern Illinois suffered a terrible tragedy. And our hearts go out to everyone touched by this. Then something happens, we reflect on ourselves for a moment and say why? I watched the news conference when the police had mentioned the response time, and the admiral job that the force had done. (a job that I'm way too much of a chicken to ever do!) And I agreed.
They talked about the bravery, and courage. I agreed. They talked about it being an unforseen tragedy. I disagreed. I can conceed that the act was premeditated, and heinous, but I can't definitively say it was unforseeable. The moment that you make guns available, and readily available you should expect violent crimes. It fits with every other realm. B.C. grows a lot of pot, ergo you have a lot of pot smokers. If you sell Heroin, you should expect that people will overdose and die. That is the result of the product. Smokers get cancer, Heroin users die, or contract blood disorders, people with guns kill people. It's a guns only purpose. Isn't it? At least heroin can be used medicinally, so can pot. It kinda funny that the U.S. is more concerned with Mark Emery(aka-the prince of Pot) then gun control. Because it's their Right! Right! What a great excuse. However when we, Canada, decided that it was our right to smoke pot they sent the DEA up here to stop us. (Good job voting for Harper my pot-head friends.) Why did we allow their government to step in and judge us? Yet when we dissagree with something that they are doing(Iraq) we're anti-American. It's fun double standard.
How long is an amendment going to be seen as humane? It is the right of every citizen to be able to shoot anyone that they feel is infringing on their....what? When they discuss have firearms for personal use, what does that mean? There are no other uses for a firearm then to kill. Is there? (don't fucking say target shooting. Practicing to shoot up your work doesn't count!) I feel sorry for a country that dons a law created in the 1790's. Or the fact that they can see GOD as their own but fail to recognize that the sixth commandment is thou shall not kill! Creating a weopons and selling them in Walmart is going to make it difficult to uphold that one. And it's a Commandment, which I think out does an Amendment. And it's clear!

Bible: Thou shall not kill!
2nd Amendment: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Okay?
I've met some people from the U.S. that were visiting Canada for the first time and were shocked that we didn't have guns. One lady from Texas told me that she lived alone and had four guns at her house. So I asked her why. She said, Well, what if someone broke into my house and tried to rape me. What if...?
I hate hypotheticals. It's way to easy to say something stupid.
So I asked her how often that happens where she's from. To her neighbors, surrounding towns, cites, around the state. She didn't know. She remembered that it she had read in the paper that something like that happened once, but years ago. I told her that's the difference. We aren't taught that we are so special that when horrific things happen, they will happen to us. We don't have gated communities. We don't have to pay for our gas upfront. We don't live like that. Sure we have crime, we have assholes with guns. We have wanna-be gangstas that shoot 15 year old girls shopping on Boxing Day. But we're not like them. We don't feel that we should have the right to shoot anyone we want. We don't think that if we are getting mugged at gun point that we should shoot back, we give up our wallet. To paraphrase Marilyn Manson, "the media has made it clear that if you do something big enough you'll be heard. That's why those kids from Colombline were on the cover of TIME magazine." There is a fantasy that lives in the U.S., that going out in a hail of bullets is cool. If someone's going to shoot me, I'm going to shoot back! I don't want to kill anyone.
I guess that's what confuses me. Does the background check not cover how many other guns you have? Or have recently bought? Is there a limit to the amount you can have? Should there be? They really seem concerned about me when I crossed the border, do they do the same follow up on their own citizens? What purpose other than killing does a gun have? Does the back ground check that you get done not show you are on medication? And shouldn't it? I guess they'd need some sort of national medicare program for that.......don't get me started.


Gun murders 2007
UK - 59
Toronto - 42
US - avg. 81 per day

jerseys

I didn't make the rules, they've always been there. In the minds of everyone else in the room. There are specific things that you cannot do when owning a sports jersey. Now by the end of this you may have questions, you may think that I've left some things out, I know, I know. These are the basics. If you do not want to follow these simple rules then expect ridicule, laughter, and even rejection from the ladies. These are the rules people! I didn't make them, but I follow them strictly. I suggest you do the same.

These are in no particular order.

1) Wearing a jersey of any team during the off-season.

The exception comes if the team in question has just signed or resigned a major player. Or you are playing the sport in question with a group of friends. You CANNOT wear you Raiders jersey to the grocery store! There is nothing worse than seeing some dude representing his losing team while the actual players wouldn't admit who they play for.

2) Going to one sport and wearing a jersey from another.

There's an exception here that is very specific and difficult to uphold. If you go to a Mets game but NY Rangers are playing in a play-off game that night then it is okay. But that's the only exception. You CANNOT attend a hockey game in a baseball jersey.(especially in Canada)

You also CANNOT wear the jersey of a team that has been eliminated from playoff contention to a play-off game. (Leaf fans I'm looking at you!! I don't like the Senators either, but I'm not going to wear a pathetic Leaf jersey to the conference finals.)

3)Wearing a jersey on a non-game day

Why? Why would you? If they are not playing that day what the point? If this is you go shopping. You need more shirts? The exception is if your team won a playoff game\series and it is the next day. Nothing makes me happier then when I see the road worker sporting his colors after a series win.

4) wearing a soccer jersey for the sake of wearing a soccer jersey!

If the only guy you know is Rooney, not good enough.

5)Jumping on the band wagon

Okay so NOW you're a RED SOX fan. Stop it! It's embarassing. It okay to chose new teams to cheer for because your team has shit the bed, but it is not okay to become a fan of the best teams just so you come out a winner. It's lame. Jays fans were Rockies fans last year. You can't claim to know that the Giants were going to win the superbowl, unless you grew up in Queens and believed that every year. So don't make it worse by buying a jersey and start telling everyone that you always were a fan. YOU are a liar!

6) The tuxedo

Okay. You're a fan. You've loved them from back when they were terrible. Your Dad loved them, and passed it on to you back when you grew up in Kingston. This does NOT give you the right to wear a Lions shirt, sweater, scarf, jacket and hat. You look like a fucking idiot. You look like the mascot threw up on you. The players are embarassed for you! I get it you're the greatest fan of all time. You still look like an idiot.

7) The tuck

I don't know how else to say this. You CANNOT, (repeat) CANNOT tuck in your jersey. You can't. No exception. The only person that may tuck in one side of his jersey is Gretzky. Don't do it. Don't cinch up you belt on you acid wash jeans with your Flames jersey on. I can't say it enough. Don't do it!

I love sports. I have a closet full of jerseys, but I follow the rules( with the exception of my Sao Paulo jersey, because I don't know when they play). I've been to a lot of events and I'd have to Toronto is really bad at following these rules. At every Jays game there's some jackass yelling Go LEAFS go, or Argos! at a Bills game. There is also a large chunk of the young population that wearing matching hats and jerseys and jackets makes them look Gansta! But when you ask them who the White Sox are playing that day they look at you confused. What the Fuck!

"I just like the colors"

Just because rappers do it in their videos doesn't make it cool. They also throw money, and drive expensive cars. I didn't know that appreciation for an artist meant that you should dress up like them? I'm going to wear my Ziggy Stardust outfit to work. Did you know that the fad of hanging your pants down came from the California prison system? The convicts would drop their pants for a little play time( if you know what I mean) Wear your pants with pride kids! I don't think that you look tough, or cool, you look stupid. The jersey ain't helping.

So please, I beg you follow these rules. Although it will take away from the opportunity to make fun of you, I'll be okay. Rivalry is good, hating another team is awesome, but when you go too far you make it about you and not the game. Remember that saying, don't hate the player, hate the game! Well in this case hate the fan! Represent! I gotta go put on the jersey of my team that lost eight nothing last game. Now that's foolish, but it fits the rules*!

*-there are always exceptions to the rules

thats great it starts with an earthquake....

...birds and snakes and aeroplanes!

Yesterday was the first day in the rest of our lives. For the first time in about eight years I felt really good about the world around me. I could sense a change for the better. Did you feel it? Sure the ground is still covered with snow. Sure it's still cold as hell. No major producer read my blog and decided to crown me with money and fame. No,no,no. The New York Giants won the superbowl!This has to be sign that the world is turning around. Isn't it? I mean, the Giants? What the fuck? The groundhog saw his shadow, which means six more weeks of winter. Okay, not great. However, the Giants won the superbowl?!? About forty-five minutes into the game a friend turned to me and said, " Am I in a coma, or are the Giants gonna win the superbowl?" Okay I'm done making fun of that, but I do see some good from it. I believe that it is the begining of a climate change of the world. And the eye of the storm will be in Washington.

I tend to follow american politics more than Canadian politics mostly out of fear. I have been afraid of Bush from back when he was executing mentally challenged kids in Texas. I didn't even like the Texas Rangers because of him. And they sucked. GW always struck me as the kinda guy that was going to be a cop just to beat people. Except that I think that he's too lazy to even do that. I wasn't a fan of his dad, and I'm not a fan of cousin Jeb either. I admit that I do want to see the Bush girls in some kind of Pairs Hilton sex tape scandal. Truthfully I want to see alot of people in one of those, but that's because of my love of grainy, unsexy porn. I don't believe that GW thinks that he's a citizen. I think he truly believes that he is above the law, the people, and government. There are plenty of articles written about his signing statments that allow him to have absolute power. He has literaly made himself the exception to the rule. What scared me even more is that so many people voted forhim based off of same-sex marriage, and homeland security. And much like 2000 he hasn't delivered on any of those campaign promises of '04 either. You'd think that there would be some kind of performance review for politicians. I guess that's what we are. If only we had some true power.

What's really insane is that Bush campaigned as a regular guy. He went after the middle American that didn't know someone Muslim, or gay, and probably wasn't a target of terrorism. These people decided the outcome, and set a standard. They proved that the uninformed were the greatest demographic, and fear was their weakness. They were afraid that their neighbour was going to be a Qur'an reading, gay terrorist, that wanted an early exit from Iraq, ergo a democrat. But that wasn't the case. There wasn't an influx of gay marriage in Tipton, Iowa. Was there? The polarization of the parties in America invites the rest of the world to see how distinctly different the two are. I can see how the civil war got started. As crazy as I think that it is that some in the world can be so intolerant towards their fellow man, years ago some thought that slavery was a good idea. So good, in fact, that they were going to fight for it. It was their right to have a slave, therefore they will fight to the death about it. WTF? Thank god the world isn't like that anymore. We can look at the person next to us and judge them on their character, not the colour of their skin. Now we can judge them on their religon and choice of mate. Have they moved forward at all? A country founded by imigrants, hates imigrants. Freedom of religion only applies to the religion that they have deemed their own. One can only wonder what history will make of that great land. Anything can happen mind you. After all the Giants won the Superbowl?

Does anyone else feel sad for John Edwards? If you don't know who he is, he is the best qualified man for the job as president. Unfourtunatlety he's a democrat who isn't black, or a woman. He dropped out of the race for, what I assume is, a losing battle. You've got the best ideas, the most experiance, but you don't stand a chance. You spend your whole life creating a master piece. It's the greatest movie of your life, and you're nominated for an oscar for best director, and best picture. And then you find out the Spielberg just submitted a movie called Schindler's List. Thanks for playing. Try again! Even on it's face value you have to like the idea of the direction their country is going. A black man, or a woman. That is miles away from where I thought they'd be. Well after GW anyone looks good. It alomst like when your gonna go up and do Karoke, and the guy before you tries Led Zepplin. You could sing happy birthday and sound better. Bush is a scary dude. I would be more afraid of seeing him as a citizen then the president. Look out Britney, you could have some publicity competion. This crazy bastard better keep us entertained with his words, or a bar fight or two. I hope this guy writes a book, but I hope that he actually writes it. Wouldn't that be awsome!

Between Obama, and Clinton I think that their will be some good changes. I hope. That's the change I feel coming. I don't put it past the Bush administration to spin the world as much out of control as possible before '09. I wouldn't be surprised if GW tries to amend the constitution to allow himself to be the president forever. A country so concered with spreading democracy has no intention on using it themselves. I can only find irony in the fact that the song Ironic isn't, but does telling another country to stop a nuclear program and not stopping your own fit? What about censoring your citizens against certain reading materials, and literature, yet running an add campaign about freedom? Wasn't their a country that spied on it people, lied to the masses, invaded Afganistan, reigned supreme against the world with a defiance, went against the the advice of other countries and was a super power? USSR? Does any one remember them? The world became a better place when they fell apart. Ask the Chechs. Is the southern US going to become their own country? Is Washington, Oregon and California going to merge in Washorgnia?

I don't know. But I think that one of those two candidates are going to reel in the balls G.W.Bush has left hanging out. You can imagine the first year of their presidency will just be travelling around the world apologizing. It's like that show flip this house. First you have to clean up the mess, get an exterminator, and let the neighbors know that you're going to improve the property value. Then the real work comes. At the end you may not make a big prophet but if you do the job right, they'll let you do another house. ( by the way, that might be my greatest analogy!)

So there you have it. Some jackass from Toronto has solved the worlds problems. Pay attention people it's a new day. Another winter storm is about pile my house with snow and I don't care. Now that I've sobered up I don't think it's the end of the world anymore. Okay, the Giants won the superbowl. I admit that's weird, but that could be the first sign. The planet may hate us, gas may be $100 a gallon, my white straight neighbor may be Catholic. But things can change, right?A historic event is about to happen to the south. The first black, or woman presidential candidate is about to be crowned. And neither seems like too much of an idiot. Sure you might argue that anyone married to Bill Clinton has to have some sort of lack in judgement, and anyone that doesn't have any lobby backing him, but smokes may also lack of judgement. I look at it the way my Mom did. My sister paved such a way that if I wasn't coming home at five in the morning, with a hopped up hooker, everything was fine. Thanks P! You could combine everything the Obama, and Clinton have ever done and it would not cover what Bush did in one year at Yale.

A change is a coming!

You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

My only advise for our southern friends is to elect them both. A black man and white woman can create a great world for us all. ( I'm not just saying that because my dad is black and my mom is white. okay I am!) I envision an unstoppable team. One can be President, one can be Vice-President! They can switch after two years.(or four)Together they can mend humanity, sew together the social fabric, tie the world communtiy into.....

What do you mean there's a republican Candidate? Oh that's okay. Right? He's war hero, conservative that want's to continue the war in Iraq? Oh man. Is he popular? Oh man.

The Giants won the superbowl? What's next Britney Spears is going to a good mommy?

Nope turns out theirs going to be sex tape. Perfect!!

It's the end of the world as we know it

(I think I need some time alone)

"Britney Spears is reportedly "on the edge" after discovering sex tapes were stolen from her Beverly Hills home on Friday (01.02.08). "(acording msn.com)

it's in you

If you've read any of my other ramblings you'll know that I didn't have a father filled childhood. I didn't go fishing, or camping. I definitely didn't play hockey in the driveway. My Mom was an artist and there was creativity, and it was encouraged, but few sports. I have a feeling that my Mom didn't want to get up that early. I don't blame her. We also didn't have a lot of money when I was young. Hockey can be expensive! As I got older I suppose that I could have taken it up, but by then I was probably embarrassed that I was a Canadian kid that couldn't skate. I started playing basketball as a teen and was quite good. I don't think the west coast was as hockey crazy as Ontario. Well at least until all the Ontarians moved out there. To this day I can't skate (well) and have told myself that it would be my new challenge. I've tried to challenge myself on a yearly basis to do things that I don't, but believe I can. It started with the guitar at thirty. By forty I hope to make the NHL! It's part of a program that I've just now created that allows me to become a great father. I want to teach my little girl to skate, not sit in the seats and watch. Unfourtunately she has already been skating more times then me. Which is a great sign that I am indeed a great father. ( thanks for teaching her grandma!!)

I've always wondered what would have happened if I went down the path of an athelete instead of....whatever I am now. In high school I would play basketball with the mens team, but never tried out. I had asked the coach if I could and he gave me a piece of advice. He said, it's up to you, but it would conflict with a lot of you drama schedule. If I was you I would just keep on the path that you were going. Awesome! Of course I don't know if he was saying I was a brilliant actor, and creative genius, or that I sucked at basketball. I can only assume the former. I was surrounded by some great atheletes mind you. My friend BZ was an amazing everything. The fucker even beat me at a three point contest with a broken arm. Bastard!! We could marvel at his skill on the ice, lacrosse, playing pool. If there was a game he could master it. That has to be inside you. That has to be natural. It's like my mothers ability to paint, and mine to talk. Some people just have it inside them to see the game. Whatever that game may be.

I worked at the Keg in Delta B.C. for a couple of years, a couple of years ago. My friend, roommate and collegue, was a mathmatical genuis. I called him the rain man. A lot of people did. What he could do was watch three football games at the same time and know what they were going to do. He knew spreads, injuries, he knew the rookies, and where they went to college. It was out of control. He would predict a play, and I would ask how he knew that they were going to do that. He say, well, Tampa can only score about two and half touchdowns on saturday night games that are on the road. Considering that the left tackle from Denver is sitting out that play you know that they woud drive right, blah, blah, blah. It was incredible. And he was right almost all the time. He could calculate what cards you had in your hand when we played. He knew the odds at the roulette table numbers. It was sick. The last time I saw him was on VH1, when I was in Boston. They were interviewing him as one of the odd makers for BODOG. I wasn't shocked. Even I could figure out the chances of that! What's really sick is he probably figured out the chances that it would take me this long to figure out.... I forgot what I was talking about.

It amazing to see people do what they do because it who they are. I also don't think that it's that easy to find that out. It took me years of keeping a box of poems, and filing cabinet full of stories to realize that I might like to be a writer. I didn't go to acting class, I didn't try voice work. I wrote. I read books about screenplays. Or articles about making independent films. I drove everybody crazy with my non-stop talking, maybe its what I'm good at? I hope so. I told T that it would eventually make us some money, and she believed me. Oops. Perhaps skating isn't in me. Maybe I'll forever be a hockey fan, but never a player. Regardless I'm going to try. It would make two people very happy.

#1- Len Chapman
A couple of years ago a wonderful friend of mine decided to take up playing rec league hockey. He played when he was younger, and he loved the game. I know this because we would play hockey on Playstation and he was hillarious. This was a game that he loved as a child. This remarkably talented athlelete could do it all. I can't imagine what people thought when they saw this smooth skating black man leveling his opponents with monsterous hits. Even now the amount of black men in the NHL is low, I can't imagine how many were playing back in the day. His first game back was his last. He jumped on the ice and halfway through that first shift he suffered a heart attack. A condition that he had, that was undetected reared it's ugly head. His best friend sat with him on the ice as he passed. The shock ripped through a large group family and friends that night. How could this happen? We all miss him so much and feel that so much of his life was unfinished. I think we are all thankful for a lot of things. His affect on everyone he touched, his roarous laugh, and that a friend was there with him when it happened.

#-Evil
My hetero life-mate is sarcastic prick we refer to as Evil. This is a man that shares my unique view that almost everyone I don't know, I don't like. We have spent years mocking almost everything we see. It's what binds us. A blatant disregard for peoples feelings, race, religion, whatever. Think Sarah Silverman, but with facial hair, and going bald. (you know it's true!)
This man literaly has hockey running through his veins. His father's international influence on the sport is amazing. He was considered the godfather of the sport for women. In fact I think that he holds some records for coaching. He has won a gold medal, he has been honoured from Hockey Canada, and UofT. His fingerprint is everywhere, including the hall of fame. I can't imagine what it was like for one man to inspire hundreds of women atheletes. Unfourtunatly he passed away. It has put a lot of strain on my friend. It has plagued him for too long. I hope that him teaching me to skate will exercise his demons. He has it in him too. The ability to see the game, to teach, to coach. But it's buried under his loss. Sunday was Dave McMaster night at the UofT Lady Blues game. I hope that you can all join me in thanking Len and Dave for what they brought to the lives of the people around them. Their individual lives, love of sport has little to do with what they meant as people, it did, however, have an impact. Whether it was on the women hockey players around the world, or some wise cracking wanna be writer, they have taught us that life is worth doing what you love. No matter what.