Hello again

Wow. What a terrible couple of weeks off.

I know, I know, I've been slacking. I don't really have any excuse either. I mean I have been just as annoyed with everything, I just haven't found the time to write it down. Truthfully it has been the weather. If you live in the southern Ontario area, or close to it then you know what I'm talking about. Even today they've called for frost and snow and already March....something. It's ridiculous! I stopped shoveling my driveway about a month and a half ago. Mostly because I tore up my shoulder ripping the steering wheel out of my car. Some asshole ran a red light a while back and smashed right into me. The worst part was that it was ten in the morning and I was half asleep. Jack-ass! Meanwhile my neighbours are giving me stink eye for not doing it, but what can I do? Tam can't do it because she's too fat.....what? Oh yeah, she's pregnant. Great another kid to disrupt my XBOX time. She claims it's mine but we'll wait and see what Maury Povich has to say. I mean our first looks nothing like me.

See.

Then came my pitch to see if someone would like to produce my TV show for the food network. Good News!!!

They haven't returned my call. They say no news is good news.

Wait, who says that. Oh doctors. Great the baby's fine. Tams just ate my piece of Pizza!

That would be a good food network show, preggo's and their appetite!(patent pending)

Then came St.Patrick's day. There's no better way to celebrate the slaughter of St.Patrick then with a fist full of Irish Car Bombs! I work in an Irish pub so you can just imagine the fun I had. People drinking all day, not tipping, wanting free stuff, pretending to be Irish(which may or not be a good thing) You wonder if Irish population appreciates that everyone thinks of them as drunks and then emulates them on "their" day. What's next Having a screen door on a submarine on Polish day? Talk with our hands and say forgedaboutit on Italian day? Have a big parade in pink, with ass less chaps on gay pride? Wait scratch that last one. Tam's just made herself an ice cream cone and it's eleven in the morning!

People seem to think that no matter what kind of abuse you take, the money at the end of a bartending shift must be worth it. People helping themselves to change on the bar. Demanding free pints. Telling me that they' are Irish and therefore should be served first. Mocking me and my background while I'm serving them. Which is bull shit because I'm half Irish!! I just look Greek. It's not my fault. Maybe when I put tzatziki on everything that's my fault, but whatever. Is all the abuse, idiots and bullshit worth the money that we make as bartenders? Yes. Most of the time. But when it rains assholes, it pours quarters.

Easter. No better way to celebrate the beating, then death, then resurrection of Jesus, than with a giant bunny giving away chocolate. WTF. I've never really gotten it and I still don't. On the way to the "in-laws" I saw a a group of people carrying a giant cross down the street. The first thing I think is holy shit it's the KKK. Apparently it was just a church group. Still when you're a half black, half Irish guy in a small northern town, and people carrying a cross, you start drinking! Mostly because your Irish and that's apparently the way you deal. I could've sworn that I saw one of them with a jerry can of gas, but it may have been a purse. Whatever. Back to Jesus. If you got crucified and then reborn, wouldn't you consider that your birthday. I mean Christmas is fun but you came back to life! Where did the rabbit come from? I can't see the connection. Tam's is eating a chocolate bunny I traded her for her fun dip.

Remember Fun Dip!!

Finally the first day of spring came and went and nobody noticed, because everyone's freezing their balls off. All of those people that think that global warming is a joke are laughing loudly, but I think that they're being a little literal. I you think we aren't destroying the planet on a daily basis, then fire up you car in the garage and sit by the tail pipe. ( don't actually do that) It's earth month or something so do your part. Conserve energy by sitting in the dark, not bathing and recycling everything you can. I suggest living with a pregnant girl who will finish off all left over food.

No Tams, that chocolate still has the the foil on it......

P.S.- It would have been my Mother's 58th birthday this past week, so when you look up to the moon and smile, and she'll smile back. I miss you!