Pay it Forward.....

Every once in a while I think the world is going to shit. I see parents smoking in their cars with their kids, windows up because it's freezing. Those are the people that are shocked when the child grows up to smoke, and have asthma. There's the fact that there are scary wars, fanatical tyrants, and American Idol. Absolute shit! It freaks me out. I mean how can I explain to my daughter when she's grown up, what the worlds about? A report has just come out that tell of the horror that is our schools, a friend of mine just told me that he slept with his computer science teacher when he was in high school. What a world. I keep thinking it was different when I was a kid. But was it? Vietnam had just ended when I was born. We protested the first Gulf war when we were teenagers. There was a crazy serial killer in the west coast named Clifford Olsen making walking to school terrifying. Maybe its always been this way?

I think that there are a group of people that truly believe that there are other people in the world. They are the people that say thank you when you hold the door.( assuming that you hold the door) They are the people that show respect, and a sense of propriety. Usually when people are flying past me on the road so that they can shave three minutes off their trip, or pushing past to get a better seat on the train, I think that we are heading further down the pipeline to hell. I remember when T was pregnant with our little girl. We went to a restaurant downtown where we were going to watch the Leafs(worst team ever?) play the Sens( wouldn't cheer for them if they were the only Canadian team!)The bar was packed and we were waiting for our table. I noticed that two men had just paid their bill and we decided to linger back, rather than hover over top of them. T didn't really care she was a trooper. I, of course, was a bag of nerves. She was nine months and ready to pop, in fact we were on our way to the hospital to be induced right after the game.*

* for those of you that don't live in Toronto. When you are set to have a baby, but the Leafs have miraculously have made the playoffs, you watch the game first, then have the baby.

Now T had one of those bellies that you couldn't really see from behind. You would see her and then she'd turn around and you'd be like yikes, Preggo! So as the two men got up, a dude that had seen me scope the table quickly sat down with his buddy. When I turned around and saw this the vein in my head lit up. The dude looked at me and said, "too bad buddy. You should've been faster." Of course I readied the knuckles, but was stopped by T. Oh, and I can't fight and have never been in one. T turned around and the dude sunk his head in shame. Then two very important things happened. First, the dude didn't have the balls to give up the seat. Instead he sat there feeling like an asshole instead. Which I found kinda funny. He had an opportunity to step up and say, "oops, my mistake", but he didn't. What a coward. Secondly two other men right beside where we were standing that had seen the entire situation go down, stood up and told T to take their seats. They hadn't finished eating, and still had a half pints. T declined, but they insisted. I fumed. Before long the serving staff had heard the story. Each one of my friends that we were meeting did too. As we paraded to our table past the chicken shit, everybody had a comment for him. The young men across from them joined in as well. I'd even heard that the manager was going to ask them to leave. It was amazing that so many agreed, joined in and fought against ignorance. It made me slightly more relaxed about bringing a child into the world.

Only slightly mind you.

I'm not the most understanding person in the world, even I can admit that. However, I think that I give everybody a chance. What drives me crazy is this attitude that society has taken towards its fellow man. It seems that people have to treat others like crap to feel better about themselves. I took my truck into a local garage, because I'm not a mechanic, and the guy there was very quick to point out that I have no idea what I'm talking about. Okay, I already know that, thanks! As I give him my series of sound effects that explain the problem he shrugs me off. meanwhile I'm thinking, do you want my business? So he says something along the lines of, well I don't know if I can do that. So I replied, well I can take it somewhere else if you'd like? All of a sudden he has taken another position Is it because he realizes that I'm going to leave? Is it because he realizes that he should be trying to be more helpful? Whatever the reason, he was now my friend. Why did it take me being an ass to get him there? I was grocery shopping for a party that we were hosting and T wanted to get some Lox. When she asks the guy at the counter, he explains that there are two types of Lox that you can buy. Except he says it as if T's an idiot. As if she, and everyone should already know this. So she calls me over because she's embarrassed about the question, and hated salmon.(?) I am extremely hung over at the time. Now, I truly believe that T deliberately brings me out when I'm hung, so that I can exact revenge on the public. The guy tells me that there are two kinds and reply that we will have the regular stuff. He then says that they are out of it. My brow tightens, my lips are clenched, I say," okay, then we'll have the other one." He then says that they are out of that one as well. I almost jumped over the counter. "Why the fuck didn't you mention that at the beginning?" I chirped. He was all of a sudden offended. " Seriously? Rather than make it seem like we're stupid?" T grabs me and drags me away. It seems like it's the way of the world. You are the idiot! It's unfair.

If you don't like your job, your life, your situation its probably your fault. Not everyone else's. You can't expect to use other people to bounce you anger off. A few years ago, I was returning bottles to the Beer Store when the part-time union employed guy told me they do not take Red Stripe stubbies. I say to the guy do you have a recycling bin I can throw these in? He says again that they don't take them. "I don't want the money, I just want to put them in the bin" He pipes up about how it's not his problem. He's angry, about something, but it has got nothing to do with me. (again hungover) "Look man, if you don't like your fucking job, then quit. But don't be a fucking asshole to me." He gives me crazy eyes. As if he's going to jump over the counter and fight me because I asked if he had a garbage can. I shrugged and told him come on over. He didn't. Just to repeat myself, I don't fight. I don't even believe in it. I just believe that people try and bully other people too much. Too many times we act as if we are going to go to the extreme just to show our balls, but at the end of the day, we don't have them. You're not going to fight someone over a simple question about recycling. You're not going to get out of your car when you tailgate someone and honk, you just want to seem tough. Behind the tinted window of your Nissan Sentra, you just want to appear tough. If you actually were, maybe your windows wouldn't be tinted? Although I can't, and will not fight, I also don't think that other people want to either. I've worked in bars for years and I have seen lots of fights. They're easy to spark, but not as easy to flame. And I don't think that the Walmart parking lot is good place to start!

Don't get me wrong, it is okay to hate your job. It's okay to hate your life. It's not okay to blame, or punish anyone else. They didn't make the decisions that you rue, they aren't going to fix it either. A good friend of mine speaks the gospel of positive thinking. It's a great plan. You are responsible for your own happiness. She has a daily blog that tells of what makes her happy on a daily basis. ( http://www.thebestlifeever.com/ ) I agree. It's hard not let out your frustrations on someone else, but it's also pathetic. So don't. Misplaced anger is such a terrible thing. It's not the store clerk, the drive through lady, or the bartender. They didn't make the prices that you hate, or the product that broke, or the bagel you wont eat. Your anger should be directed at those that have wronged you, not those that have served you. All that does is make them hate their job as much as you hate yours. Then they're rude to the next person that wants to return empties, and the cycle repeats itself. If I'm trying then surely you can. And I know there is a lot of us out there that want change. That want a better world. That have earned respect, and deserve honor. I know this because I've seen them. We need to stand tall and be seen and heard. Yesterday the woman in front of me paid for my coffee in the Tim Hortons drive through because she felt she made me wait too long. I didn't care. I was rocking out to Dave Matthews, but when I got to the window I felt a good vibe in the world. She was so aware of her surroundings that she was concerned for me. I never saw her face, or got a chance to thank her. But was a great start! On my way to work tonight, someone's getting a coffee. Hopefully they will pay it forward.